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20 Uses for that Fruitcake You Received (but don't really want)

Discussion in 'JOKES' started by omeg, Dec 9, 2013.

  1. omeg

    omeg NEW MEMBER

    Ho ho oh no, I cant believe its a fruit cake. Its a tradition. You can shake your gift and rattle it but the heavy thud can only mean one thing, you just landed a fruitcake from someone who adores you. You know there are only maybe ten actual fruitcakes in the world they just keep getting passed around. Fruitcakes are manufactured, the joy of baking is not involved A fruitcake is the gift that is everlasting like Willy Wonkas Everlasting gobstopper, all you need to do is lick it once a day and you will have it for the rest of your ever loving life. Dont throw it away and hurt your great aunts feelings but do let her know you did put it to good use instead. Fruit cake is the gift of all gift. If youve never received a free-range, non-toxic fruit cake for Christmas start the tradition amongst your own family and friends.1. Time capsule for archeologists and future people to decide what to do with it.2. Re-gift it, pass it forward with the can of spam you received.3. Boat anchor its virtually indestructible. Use it for your hot air balloon.4. Bowling ball, strike!5. Speed bump, slow down the speeding traffic in front of your home.6. A paper weight, the perfect craft supply.7. Change a tire, use it to hold up your car.8. Sand bag it against rising water.9. Gas stations can tie it to the bathroom key.10. Use your table saw and slice it into a corkboard.11. Bootscraper.12. Soak it in whiskey and apply it to a toothache.13. Parking wedge for your RV.14. Bullet proof vest.15. Fusion reactor containment chamber.16. Medieval catapult ammunition for the next Renaissance Fair.17. Air force ammo.18. Cement shoes.19. Pin Cushion.20. Instead of Elvis-ing your telvevsion, lob the fruitcake at it when you dont like whats on it.
  2. AdrianaP

    AdrianaP NEW MEMBER

    Hahaha, very funny fruitcake story...:roll::roll::roll:
  3. georgea

    georgea NEW MEMBER

    That is too bad such a cake is made without love
  4. Mben

    Mben No Deposit Forum Admin Staff Member

    They are probably MADE with love but not RECEIVED with love. :lol:
  5. Sookie

    Sookie Mother of Cats

    Honestly, I have never understood why everyone hates fruitcake, I love it! :heart:So if you guys find yourselves with unwanted fruitcakes this year, I'll tell you what you can do with them, you may forward them to me!:roll::thankyou:
  6. Jewels

    Jewels WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    I have never received a fruitcake. So where you serious when you said they will last forever if you lick it once a day? I would have never ever guessed that they would last forever. Great story and if I ever receive my first fruitcake I will regift it to you Sookie.
  7. Mben

    Mben No Deposit Forum Admin Staff Member

    Here's an old thread, but a fun read. Fruitcake is mentioned.<a href="http://www.nodepositforum.com/t39593263/re-giftingis-it-a-good-or-bad-thing-lol/#.U0c6UKL3KUQ" >http://www.nodepositforum.com/t39593263/re-giftingis-it-a-good-or-bad-thing-lol/#.U0c6UKL3KUQ</a>And I knew we had a thread somewhere that mentioned a specific fruitcake. Scroll down to Lunadelmar's post. She makes fruitcake sounds delicious! That particular brand anyway.<a href="http://www.nodepositforum.com/t51332291/50-halloweenthanksgiving-contest-free-to-enter-closes-11-29-/#.U0c8nKL3KUQ" >http://www.nodepositforum.com/t51332291/50-halloweenthanksgiving-contest-free-to-enter-closes-11-29-/#.U0c8nKL3KUQ</a> Funny that it's not the holidays and we're talking about fruitcake but were nuts like that around here. :lol:

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