1. Welcome to No Deposit Forum! Please log in to continue. New members please register here. New Member Registration

Jeff Foxworthy - please pick up the white courtesy telephone...

Discussion in 'GENERAL DISCUSSION' started by PSP, Dec 28, 2017.

  1. PSP

    PSP Ruler of Western Civilization's Geeky Nerds

    Studies have demonstrated that Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology.
    [​IMG]

    Artery – The study of paintings

    Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria

    Barium – What doctors do when patients die

    Benign – What you be, after you be eight

    Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome

    Cat scan – Searching for Kitty

    Cauterize – Made eye contact with her

    Colic – A sheep dog

    Coma – A punctuation mark

    Dilate – To live long

    Enema – Not a friend

    Fester – Quicker than someone else

    Fibula – A small lie

    Impotent – Distinguished, well known

    Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work

    Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane

    Morbid – A higher offer

    Nitrates – Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days

    Node – I knew it

    Outpatient – A person who has fainted

    Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis
    Mben and PMM like this.
  2. PMM

    PMM No Deposit Forum Moderator Staff Member

  3. Mben

    Mben No Deposit Forum Admin Staff Member

  4. PSP

    PSP Ruler of Western Civilization's Geeky Nerds

    40 Things Never Said By Rednecks

    40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen.

    39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

    38. Duct tape won’t fix that.

    37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

    36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.

    35. We don’t keep firearms in this house.

    34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

    33. You can’t feed that to the dog.

    32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

    31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.

    30. Wrasslin’s fake.

    29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

    28. We’re vegetarians.

    27. Do you think my gut is too big?

    26. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

    25. Honey, we don’t need another dog.

    24. Who’s Richard Petty?

    23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

    22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

    21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

    20. I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today.

    19. Trim the fat off that steak.

    18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

    17. The tires on that truck are too big.

    16. I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

    15. I’ve got it all on the C drive.

    14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

    13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

    12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

    11. I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

    10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

    09. Checkmate.

    08. She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.

    07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

    06. Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.

    05. I don’t have a favorite college team.

    04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

    03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

    02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

    01. Nope, no more for me. I’m driving tonight.
    Mben likes this.
  5. PMM

    PMM No Deposit Forum Moderator Staff Member

  6. PSP

    PSP Ruler of Western Civilization's Geeky Nerds

    Gotta love this guy's ink...

    [​IMG]
    PMM and Mben like this.
  7. PSP

    PSP Ruler of Western Civilization's Geeky Nerds

    Let's try that again!
    PMM and Mben like this.
  8. Mben

    Mben No Deposit Forum Admin Staff Member

    Omg! Bahahahahahaha! :laughhard:
    PMM likes this.
  9. PSP

    PSP Ruler of Western Civilization's Geeky Nerds

  10. PMM

    PMM No Deposit Forum Moderator Staff Member

    :biglol: oh my!
    Mben likes this.
  11. PMM

    PMM No Deposit Forum Moderator Staff Member


    I'm sorry, this guy and the tattoo artist is an idiot! I also observed that his girlfriend needs to see a dentist. :beard:
    Mben likes this.

Share This Page