Law of Mechanical Repair:After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop:Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability:The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone:When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi:If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law:If you change lanes (traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of Close Encounters:The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result:When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics:The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theatre Rule:At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee:As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers:If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Location:No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument:Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law:If the shoe fits, it's really ugly. Oliver's Law:A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson's Law:As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.