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Post your Jokes and videos here - WINNERS HAVE BEEN PICKED

Discussion in 'CLOSED FORUM CONTESTS' started by belgamo, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. zebedy1967

    zebedy1967 Banned

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    why do they put weather cocks on top of barns,"
    "
    the wind would go straight through a virgina,"
    "
    "
    sooo bad i know :p
  2. zebedy1967

    zebedy1967 Banned

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    a scientist was experimenting on spiders trying to find out what they do,"
    when it came time to show his findings he put the spider on the table and said to it, come here, and it came to him, then he said go away, and it went away, then he picked up the spider and pulled off all of its legs , put the spider down then said come here, it didnt he said go away the spider never moved"
    "
    so in his summary he said that he had found that if you pull off a spiders legs they go deaf
  3. zebedy1967

    zebedy1967 Banned

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    a fun way to get back at telephone marketers and cold callers[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnAqFR2ewyk&feature=related]
  4. bobb15dk

    bobb15dk WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    FOOTBALL AND THE BLONDE...... Out of all the blonde jokes, this"
    one has to be the best! Football FINALLY makes sense.........."
    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had"
    great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked"
    her how she liked the experience."
    'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight"
    pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they"
    were killing each other over 25 cents.' Dumbfounded, her date"
    asked, 'What do you mean?' 'Well, they flipped a coin, one team"
    got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming"
    was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm"
    like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cent
  5. I_am_Loni

    I_am_Loni WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  6. Sookie

    Sookie Mother of Cats

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    Q: How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chipn cookies?"
    "
    A: From all thee M&M shells on the floor!
  7. Sookie

    Sookie Mother of Cats

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

  8. zebedy1967

    zebedy1967 Banned

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy9PSz1S9CM&feature=related]
  9. Janet0023

    Janet0023 WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: Thats the ugliest baby that Ive ever seen. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: The driver just insulted me! The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, Ill hold your monkey for you.great contest!!! Absolute-jfresse    <img src="http://www.activeboard.com/emote.img?ID=5624" alt="lol" title="lol" />
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  10. Sookie

    Sookie Mother of Cats

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here
  11. Sookie

    Sookie Mother of Cats

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here
  12. zebedy1967

    zebedy1967 Banned

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    spiders on drugs[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc]
  13. Chars

    Chars WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    you guys are doing a fantastic job in this contest i have laugh really hard keep up the good work we nearly at the closing of this one
  14. tweety65

    tweety65 WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    THIS IS TOO FUNNY!!!!!"
    "
    When girls don't put out!!"
    This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart."
    "
    Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!"
    "
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the wh ole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart."
    "
    FOR EXAMPLE:"
    "
    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed . Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'"
    "
    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'"
    "
    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...."
    "
    'Yo u're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'"
    "
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'"
    "
    Re alizing that nothing was go ing to happen that night, I went to sleep."
    "
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'"
    "
    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis"
    "
    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticip ation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'"
    "
    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' "
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'"
    "
    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'"
    "
    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'"
    "
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b**** knows I'm smarter than her."
    "
  15. veronster41

    veronster41 NEW MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    A little boy goes to his father and asks Daddy, how was I born? "
    The father answers, Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got male!
  16. Kraziegurl79

    Kraziegurl79 WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    Good Luck, everyone!! This contest closes tonight @ 7PM!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  17. ohbhave

    ohbhave WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    RE: Post your Jokes and videos here

    Here are the winners for the JOKES & FUNNY VIDEOS CONTEST.  It was a tough call, but these entries stood out above the rest: playin4keeps - spider email veronster41 - daddy, how was I born tweety65 - when girls don't put out mrmoney - mean kitty song zebedy - the penis song** CONGRATULATIONS WINNERS! (If you haven't already posted it here, you must send your Absolute Slots Username to Belgamo in order to be credited your $10 Free Chip) Thank you to everyone who participated! ** The penis song does not qualify as 'vulgar or obscene'.  The video did not contain any foul language & all body parts were covered.  And, despite the fact that I had a migraine, this video still managed to make me laugh out loud! <img src="http://www.sparkimg.com/emoticons/biggrin.gif" alt="biggrin" title="biggrin" />
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  18. Chars

    Chars WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    crongrats to all the winner and a job well done to all the members i certainly laughed a heap and thankyou all for participating.
  19. zebedy1967

    zebedy1967 Banned

    <q>** The penis song does not qualify as 'vulgar or obscene'.  The video did not contain any foul language & all body parts were covered.  And, despite the fact that I had a migraine, this video still managed to make me laugh out loud! </q>thanks, i must admit i missed the part in the rules about no vulgar or obscene jokes if i had seen it i probably wouldnt have posted it, im glad you took it in the right way and wasnt offended by it,<img src="http://www.activeboard.com/emote.img?ID=5589" alt="bounce" title="bounce" />
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  20. belgamo

    belgamo No Deposit Forum Founder

    I am not going hunting for your acct ID's , if they are not in here,I will not be sending you in for credit. I will not accept PM's either. My PM box is flooded each day, it is to easy to over look someone sending me thier ID, I wanted them posted.I clearly posted MAKE SURE TO POST YOUR ABSOLUTE SLOTS USERNAME Thanks
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  21. Mistye81

    Mistye81 WELL KNOWN MEMBER

    WTG winners. Congrats.
  22. mr money

    mr money NEW MEMBER

    thanx eve1 =] this joke contest and the chat party was a great idea n alot of fun.

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