Some self-evident truths about dogs and cats: Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes. Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes earlier. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Dogs shed, cats shred. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult? No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. People that hate cats will come back as dogs in their next life. We wonder why the dogs and cats always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls? Women and cats will do as they please... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.