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How they do it ....

Discussion in 'JOKES' started by ishin, Mar 14, 2010.

  1. ishin

    ishin Banned

    How They Have Sex.... ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.ACTORS do it on cue.ADVERTISERS use the new, improved method.AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.ARCHITECTS have great plans.ARTISTS are exhibitionists.ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.ATTORNEYS make better motions.AUDITORS like to examine figures.BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.BAKERS knead it daily.BAND MEMBERS play all night.BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.BEER DRINKERS get more head.BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.BOSSES delegate the task to others.BOWLERS have bigger balls.BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.BUTCHERS have better meat.CARPENTERS hammer it harder.CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.CHEMISTS like to experiment.CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.CLOWNS do it for laughs.COACHES whistle while they work.COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.CONSULTANTS tell others how to do it.COPS have bigger guns.COWBOYS handle anything horny.COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.DENTISTS do it in your mouth.DETECTIVES do it under cover.DIETICIANS eat better.DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.DIVERS do it deeper.DOCTORS do it with patience.DRUG ADDICTS just can't stopDRUGGISTS fill your prescription.DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.EXECUTIVES have large staffs.FARMERS spread it around.FIREMEN are always in heat.FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.GARBAGE MEN come once a week.GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.HANDYMEN like good screws.HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.HUNTERS do it with a bang.INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.INVENTORS find a way.JANITORS clean up afterwards.JEWELERS mount real gems.JOGGERS do it on the run.LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.LAWYERS do it in their briefs.LIBRARIANS do it quietly.LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.MACHINISTS make the best screws.MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.MANAGERS supervise others.MILKMEN deliver twice a week.MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.MINERS sink deeper shafts.MINISTERS do it on Sundays.MODELS do it in any position.MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.MOVIE STARS do it on film.MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.NURSES call the shots.OCEANOGRAPHERS like to go down under.OPERATORS do it person-to-person.OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.PILOTS keep it up longer.PLUMBERS do it under the sink.POLICEMEN like big busts.POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.POSTMEN come slower.PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.PROFESSORS do it by the book.RACERS like to come in first.RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.RECYCLERS use it again.REPORTERS do it daily.RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.ROOFERS do it on top.SAILORS like to be blown.SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.SCIENTISTS discovered it.SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.SPELUNKERS do it underground.SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.STEWARDESSES do it in the air.STUDENTS use their heads.SURGEONS like it bloody.TAILORS make it fit.TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.TYPISTS do it in triplicate.VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.WATER SKIERS come down harder.WELDERS have hotter rods.WRESTLERS know the best holds.WRITERS have novel ways.ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014
  2. helwin


    Pretty funny. What about chefs and cosmetologists? And gamblers?
  3. catadams

    catadams WELL KNOWN MEMBER

  4. ishin

    ishin Banned

    OK...how about... CHEFS like to taste cream sauce.  [​IMG] COSMETOLOGISTS keep it well groomed. POKER PLAYERS will go all-in .BLACKJACK PLAYERS like BJ's.BLACKJACK PLAYERS aggressively hit and bust.[​IMG] haha  
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2014

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