Jeff Foxworthy - please pick up the white courtesy telephone...

[PSP]

Studies have demonstrated that Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology.


Artery – The study of paintings

Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria

Barium – What doctors do when patients die

Benign – What you be, after you be eight

Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan – Searching for Kitty

Cauterize – Made eye contact with her

Colic – A sheep dog

Coma – A punctuation mark

Dilate – To live long

Enema – Not a friend

Fester – Quicker than someone else

Fibula – A small lie

Impotent – Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane

Morbid – A higher offer

Nitrates – Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days

Node – I knew it

Outpatient – A person who has fainted

Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis

 

[PMM]

 

[Mben]

 

[PSP]

40 Things Never Said By Rednecks

40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen.

39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

38. Duct tape won’t fix that.

37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.

35. We don’t keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can’t feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.

30. Wrasslin’s fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We’re vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, we don’t need another dog.

24. Who’s Richard Petty?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I’ve got it all on the C drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

11. I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

09. Checkmate.

08. She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.

07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

06. Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.

05. I don’t have a favorite college team.

04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

01. Nope, no more for me. I’m driving tonight.

 

[PMM]

 

[PSP]

Gotta love this guy's ink...

 

[PSP]

Let's try that again!

 

[Mben]

Let's try that again!

Omg! Bahahahahahaha!

 

[PSP]

 

[PMM]

oh my!

 

[PMM]

Gotta love this guy's ink...

I'm sorry, this guy and the tattoo artist is an idiot! I also observed that his girlfriend needs to see a dentist.

 

[PSP]

From the people that I interacted with in Florida, she might have been a dental model!

 

[PMM]

From the people that I interacted with in Florida, she might have been a dental model!