<table> 1. HOOPTY CAR Basically, a piece of shit car. Usually cheap and/or broken down. Can be any size, make or model, but must (or should) be embarrassing to drive for some reason, such as when you bump the stereo all the plastic effects you have hot-glued to the exterior rattle, instantly betraying the cheapness of your bling . A hoopty can be anything from a '78 Cadillac Brogham with the panels missing in front of the brake lights (but replaced on only one side with duct tape), to a fine purple two-year old Hyundai Elantra with three spinner hubcaps and a vanity plate that reads BBY GRL. As much as I despise driving my gutless wonder, I have found some perks:1. I can park anywhere and not worry.2. Non-descript car does draw the attention of law enforecment, this would be more helpful if it actually had a top speed higher than 45.3. Driving a car with noticable damage makes other drivers think you don't have insurance, thus they stay far away!!4. Cheap tires . 5. Friends don't ask to drive the hoopty. 6. The teenager doesn't want to borrow it.