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Funny New Year Resolutions

Discussion in 'JOKES' started by omeg, Dec 27, 2010.

  1. omeg

    omeg NEW MEMBER

    <table align="right" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width:165px;"> Check out these funny and innovative New Year's Resolutions! Enjoy these and make some for yourself...Surely you will enjoy!! <li class="b">Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom. I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future. I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water. Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing. I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly.... I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than password. I will not tell the same story at every get together. I won't worry so much. I will cut my hair. I will grow my hair. I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks! I will be more imaginative. I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2014
  2. rrk2rivera

    rrk2rivera Banned

  3. Arnold31

    Arnold31 Banned

    LOL)))I like this forum more and more)))
  4. Mben

    Mben No Deposit Forum Administrator Staff Member

    And we're glad you do, Arnold. :smile: Welcome!
  5. Arnold31

    Arnold31 Banned

    Thank you, Mben)
  6. Avitonn

    Avitonn Banned

    I will cut my hair more often! Honestly)

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